


Dipper is Annoyingly Adorable

by EternalElysium



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: An annoyed triangle who hates feelings, Bill is a triangle, Flattered but creeped out, M/M, Poor Dipper doesn't even know how to react honestly, idk - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-10
Updated: 2015-09-10
Packaged: 2018-04-20 04:01:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4772744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EternalElysium/pseuds/EternalElysium
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>... At least, according to Bill.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dipper is Annoyingly Adorable

Dipper's eyes are droopy and heavy with sleep. For some reason, tonight's Family Movie Night is shorter than most. It is only one in the morning but Soos' head is already nestling against a worn-out couch cushion and box of burrito bites. Gruncle Stan sits on his favorite chair and the drawn-out snores are almost rhythmic, while Mabel and Waddles are snuggling each other on the floor, cheek-to-cheek. Dipper briefly thinks about it, and shrugs it off in exhaustion. There are flashes of Mabel and himself eating the last of their Summerween candy with the... thing (they still do not have a name for it). Oh right, they have no more sugar to gorge on and keep them awake.

"Dipper, are you still up?" Gruncle Ford asks with several blankets in his arms. Dipper's answer to his great uncle is only a small yawn. "Here, have a blanket, kid." Ford smiles down at his sleepy nephew and hands the small boy a sheet. The awkward preteen let out a small "Thanks" to his considerate Gruncle Ford and drapes the thick cotton over his narrow shoulders and letting it pool around his ankles. He barely registers through blurry, heavy eyes, his genius relative going around and carefully wrapping the others in their own temporary beddings. As soon as Dipper's eyes close and it goes black, an odd shiver runs down his spine. Strange, especially on a warm Summer in the shack.

The lull of sleep is short. An unexplainable breeze makes Dipper's frame shudder in horror and the young boy shoots up. His stiff back presses into the couch behind him to make sure nothing could attack him from behind. It takes a couple seconds for the child to realize that the saturation of colors is gone and there are only shades of various gray, but immediately braces himself for the confrontation. Bill. The last encounter - just before Mabel's puppet show - is still a common theme in his nightmares. An ominous, golden light sneaks into the room. Dipper's stomach is tightening with dread. He braces himself for the familiar, high-pitch laughter. The light intensifies in hue. Abruptly, the gold darkens to a "fresh-blood" red and an angry Bill Cipher bursts through to greet the young boy.

"Bill! What are you-"

"Can it, Pine Tree! You're so annoying!" The dream demon barks in frustration and pokes a thin, hard finger roughly into the preteen's chest. Dipper bites down the urge to shrink away and wince from the harsh action. "How... how dare you!" Bill growls out. Dipper frowns at how vague the elder is being.

"I haven't done anything to you. You're the one that tried to steal the combination to a safe in my Gruncle's mind and possessed my body! Bill, you're the annoying one, meddling in our lives and... probably other unspeakable things in this town." Dipper accuses and pushes the offending digit away. The young boy crosses his arms and taps his left foot impatiently for a retort back. His outburst seems to only make Bill quake with anger. The whole mindscape shakes at the same intensity as the dream demon's emotions. Dipper steadies himself but makes sure to keep a scowl on his face.

"Kid, that isn't nearly half as disgusting as what you've been doing to me! How dumb you are would be pretty funny, if I weren't so mad!" Bill's huffs and puffs end with the triangle crossing his own arms over his body. "Stop being so annoyingly adorable! It isn't fair, Pine Tree." Whoa!

"You.... you think I'm adorable?" Dipper's bewilderment is evident in his voice.

"No!" Bill blurts out, but then realizes the contradiction. "Urgh, yes kid..." The demon corrects with a heavy amount of regret. The golden entity slaps the small area above his large eye in irritation. "Just, don't misinterpret my words, your human language limits my message. I'm not saying that I'm in love with you or anything; I'm merely stating that even though you're a zygote in comparison to me and a different species, you are quite good-looking and I happen to notice this trait about you... pretty often. Too often..." Bill practically steams with hatred. "And it fills me with rage!" Dipper cringes but relaxes as soon as the elder creature sighs and throws it's hands into the air in defeat.

"Why did you enter my dreams to discuss this topic?"

"Is there a better time to talk about these things?" Dipper hates to admit that Bill has a point. The young boy just wants to believe that his hearing is fading or that this encounter is just a horrible joke that somehow fits into Bill's plot. But the demon continues. "I've been around way before the birth of humanity, and I've always found you squishy-meatbags just... there. Some have come and gone like Red's mom, that caught my eye once-in-a-while, but nothing like this." The demon drones on. "I've been watching you too closely, when I should be moving all the pieces into their proper place. But every time I need to set up something to successfully merge the nightmare realm with your universe, I keep thinking about your dumb face!" Bill seems to pout at the thought and pokes the brunette's cheek. Dipper wants to back away, but is curious about the triangle's rantings. Nightmare realm? He'll tolerate this until he knows Bill's plans. "It's so soft, squishy, round, rosy, and cute! You're so fun to prod and bother... argh, see what it's doing to me? I'm getting distracted!" Bill's grumblings would have been laughable if the interstellar-dimensional being's thoughts are not focusing on Dipper's looks.

"Look, whatever you're-"

"Hush, Pine Tree, I'm still complaining about your cuteness." This is weird.

"Okay, these are complaints, not compliments." Dipper sighs as he rubs his forehead in amazement.

"Exactly..." Bill is stroking the preteen's cheek with vivid interest. Dipper is unsure whether to feel confusion or fright from the delicate touch. When the golden demon realizes what he's doing, Bill snaps his hand back and shudders in disgust. "... yeah, darn it, where was I? Oh yeah," The fast-talking dealer zooms in and leans uncomfortably close to the young boy. "Kid, you hardly shower." Dipper turns red from the random comment.

"Hey! I already have Mabel teasing me about that!"

"But it's awful!" Dipper's entire body curls and flushes a dark pink.

"I don't smell that bad!"

"Yes! That's the problem! You don't smell bad!" Bill whines and surges red in disgust. "Pine Tree, you sometimes shower only twice a week, yet you smell like baby powder, fresh trees, and childhood fear. You-I-urgh, you just... smell of small, vulnerable, adorable human! You're twelve years old, so you're already going through puberty. I know lots of things, and one of them is that boys going through puberty smell awful and can kill an elephant if they don't bathe every day." God, the human does not know what is worse, thinking that Bill finds his odor gross, or finding out that Bill actually believes his scent is pleasing. "Seriously kid, no other human on this planet smells delightful after three days of avoiding proper hygiene. It's just... irritating! Instead of slipping into Stanford's dreams and toying with his mind, I'm sneaking into your room, sniffing your fluffy hair and watching you sleep. You're really ruining my plans, kid." Bill ruffles up.

"Hey, stay away from Gruncle Ford- wait! You're watching me sleep? Sniffing my hair?" The boy gasps and shields his hair as best as he can with his hands.

"Argh, I know, right? It's so embarrassing..." Bill closes his eye and tries to regain composure.

"Yeah, embarrassing for me!" Dipper cries out.

"But I'm a powerful dream demon that's getting distracted by a boy who defeated ghosts with a lamby dance. I'm the one who is humiliated." Bill sneers. "Now please, stay quiet while I talk about how you're strangely enthralling." The human wants to protest, but holds back the urge. Perhaps he and Gruncle Stanford could use this information to their advantage. If they knew things that distract Bill, they could probably delay the demon's plans further through manipulation. Plus, despite these things being "complaints" as Bill puts it, Dipper cannot help but feel warm from the strange flattery. Hardly anyone finds an awkward preteen that is into the paranormal a person of adoration. "Anyways, should I talk about your wide head, noodle arms, sneezes, or..." The demon pauses and becomes fuchsia in hue. "Never mind."

"Really Bill? After everything you just told me?"

"Trust me, Pine Tree. You don't want to know." Bill dismisses quickly. "I mean, it's not as freaky as your internet history or thoughts and dreams of Red, but it's still disturbing." Okay, maybe Dipper does not want to go down that rabbit hole. "I mean..." The demon fiddles with his snazzy bowtie nervously. "Never mind, anyways, your noodle arms are so weak and scrawny and practically useless." The bile in Bill's voice almost stings. "Yet sometimes when I travel from this universe and the nightmare realm, I think about slamming that kitchen drawer into your arm and how bright and tingly everything got. It was fun being inside you. Your body's spasms of pain were so... funny. It reminds me of your sneezes. Everyone's right, you know; it is exactly like a jumpy kitten! It's so hilarious!" Bill practically coos. The ramblings come out at a faster pace; Bill probably cannot sense it but Dipper starts to question the demon's lack of control to the point of concern. Wow, legitimate concern for a demon... that's new. "And your wide head in proportion to your body only completes the kitten image. The bigger head-surface coupled with your poofy hair is just... the embodiment of adorable! I think about resting on top of your head and playing with all the curls... argh, I just want to torture a hospital's worth of babies in order to feel normal again. Why is this... why is this wretched, itchy, bubbling feeling happening? I want it to stop!"

Without any warning, Bill's arms are snaking around Dipper and forcing the preteen's lips to press against the bricks to the right side of the demon's eye. The human squeaks - due to surprise and the dull pain of his nose slamming into the hard surface of the triangle's body - and remains rigid. They stay in that unsettling position for a while, every second producing a heartbeat that thud harshly into Dipper's ribcage. Oh lord, is this going to end? Dipper wants to turn his head, but with his chest flat and tight to Bill's geometric frame and his legs dangling useless, there is nothing to help steady and shove himself away. However, just as abruptly as it all starts, Bill drops the quiet boy onto the cold, gray ground; the older entity's expression relaxes. This seems more like the Bill that Dipper knows.

"You know, now that I got that out-of-the-way, I feel so much better! The urge to smush your face into mine was almost killing me."

"Did we... did we just kiss?" Dipper asks hesitantly.

"Don't worry, Pine Tree. I don't have lips and we're in the mindscape, so this technically doesn't count. Your first kiss is still up for grabs. It's like when you gave reverse CPR to that merman." Bill looks down at his body in triumph. "Ha! Recalling that event used to make me angry, but I can now laugh at it. Well, I think I'm going to see some old faces and get everything together. See you in your nightmares! I'll be watching!"

The living room rapidly fades to black, and Dipper wakes up suddenly. He heaves a sigh of relief when there are tacky reds, mute blues, and very little gray under the morning sun. He looks around to see that everyone is in a deep slumber. Maybe he should keep this dream to himself, until he processes everything and can find out something useful. Or at least, think of good comebacks to Mabel's witty jabs when he eventually tells her about this. Besides, he is not even certain that the dream is really a visit from Bill or something his mind conjures after binging on horror movies. Dipper attempts to pull the blanket over him again when he sees the pen marks on his hands.

'The dream is real. - Bill' and below his wrist 'Look at what I did to your other hand.'

There is a crude bird and the description 'It's a turkey!' on it. Damn it.

**Author's Note:**

> I imagine this basically takes place after "The Stanchurian Candidate" and before "The Last Mabelcorn" if you're wondering where this fits in comparison to the canon.


End file.
